Toronto Hosts Sex Party To Bring Down 'Berlin Wall' Between Sex And Disability
Wheelchairs don’t signal the end of someone’s sex life — in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Toronto hopes to make this much clear during their upcoming (and first-ever) accessible sex party. Think of it as a masquerade ball meets orgy.
Formally the event is called “Deliciously Disabled,” and it takes place on Aug. 14 at the Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, an LGBTG cabaret and theatre company, the Toronto Sun reported. Twenty-five people with wheelchairs, plus 40 standing guests, are welcome to attend the party, though they don’t have to have sex; a burlesque performance and sex toy workshop are also scheduled.
Organizer Stella Palikarova, who experiences spinal muscular atrophy, says the point of the party is to bring down the “Berlin wall of sex for people with disabilities.” Sex among people with disabilities shouldn’t be shocking; it should be celebrated. And those who disagree don’t have to like it, though they shouldn’t expect an apology either.
“The naysayers are just subconsciously hating the fact that people in wheelchairs are having great sex — better sex than a lot of people are having,” Palikarova said.
In 2013, the Healthy Equity Institute released a 15-minute documentary called (Sex)abled: Disability Uncensored in order to increase visibility among this often ignored population. Paul Longmore, director of the Institute on Disability at San Francisco State University, said physiological conditions have historically suggested people can’t function properly in society, from being students to someone’s sexual partner. It’s presumed they’re sexually and romantically disabled, too.
“Those expectations, those views of what [disabilities are], point to the fact that disability isn’t not simply medical or physiological — much more importantly, it’s social and cultural,” Langmore said. “It’s a constructed identity, so certain physical and mental traits … get stigmatized. … The stigma is globalized to engulf their entire identity.”
Laci Green, host of the popular YouTube Channel Sex+, interviewed disability activist Olivia back in 2014 who, like Palikarova, experiences muscular dystrophy, as well as epilepsy. When asked about dating and sex, Olivia said she has experiences with both. She pointed out, too, wheelchairs can be a sex toy in their own right.
“The thing about most wheelchairs is they have the ability to elevate. … Also, we have the ability to tilt back and recline,” Olivia said.
Andrew Morrison-Gurza shares this same sentiment with the Sun. Gurza has cerebral palsy and is co-planning the sex party with Palikarova. And in a blog post last month, he suggested transactional touch, or the concept of touch people with disabilities grow accustomed to, can be beneficial.
“Transactional touch has also played a great part in my physical intimacy with others. … It has made me one of the most attentive lovers ever,” Gurza wrote. “I understand the importance of touch more than anyone, and the experience of disability has helped me to hone that.”
Sexual experience for persons with disabilities will vary depending on their exact disability; however, Olivia pointed out the means in which abled bodied people overcome sexual obstacles, such as taking Viagra, using sex toys, and the aforementioned communication can be used successfully used among people with disabilities, too.