Lindsay Lohan sat down for a mostly teary-eyed interview with Oprah on Sunday night, four days after her spending about three months in rehab—her sixth attempt at getting clean. She spent the majority of the interview speaking about her constant battle with alcohol — her drug of choice — as well as her family’s issues, court battles, and her time in the public’s eye.

Lohan said that in 2010, her addiction combined with the chaos surrounding her, which included a working on documentaries, a family member’s death, and her obligation to appear in court for violating probation because she missed alcohol counseling sessions, led her to subconsciously want to go to jail.

“Part of my decision was, at that point, I strangely… being in my addiction, and having all the chaos around me that I was so comfortable with, I somewhere inside knew, and kind of wanted to go to jail,” Lohan said in the interview.

“Was it a cry for help?” Oprah asked.

“I think it was just to find some peace… to have no choice but just sit and be.”

She was sent to jail for 90 days, but because of overcrowding, she was able to leave after two weeks. Lohan’s drama began to unfold when she was busted for possession of cocaine while drunk driving in 2007. Just before then, she had crashed her 2005 Mercedes, and was sent to six weeks in rehab for it.

During her interview with Oprah, she admitted that her drug of choice was alcohol, and that although she had originally said she had taken used cocaine three or four times, she had actually used it 10 to 15 times. She said she used it so that she could drink more. Cocaine’s stimulant properties make it difficult for someone to feel the depressant properties of alcohol.

Now, Lohan feels “whole” again. She says that it took years and a lot of spirituality for her to realize that she didn’t want to be stuck in a “whirlwind of garbage around herself.”

“Being able to find a way to appreciate what I have (acting), and [being able to] share it with other people. But also be mentally in a much better place.” She says she’s become tired of “living so many lives” at this time, and it’s “just not interesting” to her anymore.

She says that she’s ready to "get the thing that's made me the happiest my whole life back, which is just work really hard and stay focused and prove myself in the way that I did before in the past that I lost. I have to regain the trust of people in my career that have their doubts and I fully respect that on their behalf."

When Oprah mentioned a trip to Europe that Lohan had planned, she urged her not to go, reasoning that Lohan had just left rehab. Lohan told her, “I’m different. I’m in a different headscape. I don’t want those things that I wanted before,” but even then, she canceled her trip two days later, according to E!.

You can watch one of the clips from the interview below, and see others right here.

Oprah to Lindsay Lohan: "Are You an Addict?"

After two DUIs, six arrests, seven car accidents, 14 days in jail and six trips to rehab, actress Lindsay Lohan comes clean about her battle with alcohol addiction. Watch as Lindsay also sets the record straight about her cocaine use. Plus, does Lindsay think she's addicted to chaos? Find out now.

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